15 Ways to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Thriving
Ways to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Thriving
Distance doesn't have to mean disconnect. Whether your best friend moved across the country, you relocated for a fresh start, or life just took you in different directions, these friendships are worth the effort. Here are practical, meaningful ways to stay close when you can't be near.
1. Schedule Regular Video Calls Pick a day and time that works for both of you—weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly—and treat it like an appointment you can't miss. Video calls let you see facial expressions, share your surroundings, and feel more connected than a phone call alone. Make it special: grab your coffee or tea, get comfortable, and give each other your full attention. Consistency matters more than duration—even 30 minutes regularly beats sporadic hours-long calls (although I wouldn't complain about one of those!)
2. Send Snail Mail Surprises
In a world of instant messages, receiving something tangible in the mailbox feels extra special. Send postcards, greeting cards, handwritten letters, or small care packages. It doesn't have to be fancy—a funny card that made you think of them, a postcard from a place you visited, or a clipping from a magazine article they'd enjoy. The physical act of opening mail from a friend creates a moment of joy that texts can't quite replicate.
3. Share Daily Life Through Photos
Don't wait for big moments to connect. Text photos of the little things: your morning coffee, a beautiful sunset, something funny you saw, a meal you're proud of, your garden blooming, a silly face. These small glimpses into each other's daily lives help you feel present even when you're apart. It's like having a running conversation throughout your day.
4. Create a Shared Digital Space
Set up a shared photo album (through your phone's photo app or Google Photos) where you both can add pictures anytime. It becomes a living scrapbook of your separate lives that you're still sharing. When you're missing your friend, scroll through and see what they've been up to. It's a low-pressure way to stay updated without requiring immediate responses.
5. Watch or Read the Same Thing "Together"
Pick a book to read at the same time, then schedule a call to discuss it—your own two-person book club. Or choose a TV series and watch episodes on your own schedule, texting reactions and thoughts as you go. ( My long-distance bestie and I watch Big Brother together.) This gives you shared experiences to talk about and creates connection points beyond just catching up on logistics.
6. Voice Messages for Deeper Connection
Sometimes you want to share more than a text allows, but your schedules don't align for a call. Voice messages let you hear your friend's voice, their laughter, their tone. It's like leaving each other voicemails, but better.
7. Plan Visits Well in Advance
Having a visit on the calendar—even if it's months away—gives you both something to look forward to and makes the distance feel more temporary. Start planning what you'll do, where you'll eat, what you'll talk about. The anticipation becomes part of the joy. And when you do get together, make the most of it by being fully present.
8. Remember the Important Dates
Set reminders for birthdays, anniversaries, and other significant dates in your friend's life. But also remember the hard dates—anniversaries of losses, difficult milestones, or just days when you know they might need extra support. A simple "thinking of you today" text on a hard day means everything.
9. Celebrate Milestones Creatively
Just because you can't be there in person doesn't mean you can't celebrate. Send a care package for their birthday, arrange a surprise delivery (flowers, their favorite treat, a meaningful gift), or organize a video call with other friends to celebrate together. Get creative with how you show up for the big moments.
10. Have "Parallel Play" Dates
Sometimes you don't need to talk—you just want to feel like you're together. Schedule a time to both do something at the same time: morning coffee on video, a walk while on the phone, cooking the same recipe while video chatting, or even just working on separate projects while connected. It's about companionship, not just conversation.
11. Share Playlists or Podcasts
Music and podcasts can be deeply personal. Share a playlist that reminds you of your friend, or recommend a podcast episode you think they'd love. It's a way of saying "I thought of you" while also giving them something to enjoy. Then you can discuss it later—another connection point.
12. Be Honest About Missing Each Other
Don't pretend the distance doesn't hurt. Some of the most meaningful conversations start with "I really miss you today." Acknowledging the hard parts makes the friendship feel real and safe. You're not just maintaining a connection out of obligation—you genuinely need each other, and it's okay to say so.
13. Send Random "Thinking of You" Messages
You don't need a reason to reach out. Send a text that simply says "saw this and thought of you" or "missing you today" or "remember when we..." These spontaneous moments of connection often mean more than scheduled check-ins because they're pure and unplanned.
14. Coordinate Thoughtful Care Packages
There's something incredibly special about receiving a box in the mail that someone curated just for you. Care packages show that you've been thinking about your friend—not just in passing, but deeply enough to gather things that reflect who they are and what they love.
What to include:
- Comfort items: Cozy socks, a soft blanket, their favorite tea or coffee, scented candles, bath products
- Treats: Their favorite snacks (especially regional ones they can't get where they live now), homemade cookies or treats, local specialties from your area
- Personal touches: Printed photos of memories together, a handwritten letter, inside jokes made tangible (that silly magnet, a funny mug with a reference only you two understand)
- Entertainment: A book you loved and think they'd enjoy, a puzzle, a journal, crossword books, a movie or music they mentioned wanting
- Practical surprises: A gift card to their favorite coffee shop or restaurant, a small plant, stationery, bookmarks
- Seasonal items: Holiday decorations, summer beach essentials, fall candles, spring garden seeds
Themed care package ideas:
- "Spa Day at Home": Face masks, bath salts, nail polish, a good book, herbal tea, pepper spray to keep everyone away
- "Cozy Night In": Fuzzy socks, hot chocolate mix, popcorn, a classic movie recommendation, a soft throw blanket, male dancers
- "Taste of Home": Regional foods from where you live, recipes written in your handwriting, nostalgic candy from your childhood, lead paint chips
- "Just Because You're Amazing": All their favorite things—their favorite color, their favorite snack, a book by their favorite author, something that represents an inside joke, pepper spray (for the same reason as listed above)
The key: Personalization matters more than price. A $30 box filled with things that show you truly know your friend means infinitely more than an expensive generic gift. Include a handwritten note explaining why you chose each item. "This tea reminded me of our Sunday morning coffee dates." "This book made me laugh and I immediately thought you'd love it." "These socks are ridiculous and perfect for you."
The best part? Your friend will think of you every time they use something from the box—wearing those socks, lighting that candle, reading that book. It's a gift that keeps giving long after it arrives. Except for the male dancers. Those usually leave after a very short period of time. Thank goodness.
15. Create Unique Traditions Just for You Two
Long-distance friendships need their own rituals—things that belong only to you and your friend, regardless of miles. Maybe you both watch the sunrise on the first day of each season and text photos. Maybe you send each other a postcard on the anniversary of your friendship every year. Maybe you have a standing "bad day hotline" where either of you can call anytime, no questions asked, and the other drops everything to listen.
These traditions become anchors in your friendship—predictable touchpoints that say "you matter to me" without needing to say it out loud. They can be silly (sending each other the worst dad jokes you can find every Friday) or meaningful (reading the same devotional or poem each month and discussing it). The content matters less than the consistency.
Some ideas to spark your own traditions:
- Annual "friendship anniversary" celebration (even if it's just a video call with champagne)
- Monthly "letter writing day" where you both sit down and write actual letters
- Seasonal photo exchange (first snow, first flowers, best sunset of summer, favorite fall leaf)
- Birthday countdown texts (one thing you love about them for each day leading up to their birthday)
- "Adventure report" where you each try something new monthly and report back
- Shared gratitude practice (texting three things you're grateful for every Sunday)
- Holiday ornament exchange (mail each other a new ornament every Christmas)
The beauty of creating your own traditions is that they're designed specifically for your friendship. They don't have to make sense to anyone else. They just have to matter to you two. And over time, these rituals become the fabric of your long-distance friendship—proof that distance is just geography, but connection is intentional, creative, and entirely possible.
The Bottom Line
Long-distance friendships require intentionality, but the friends who knew you before—before the move, before the empty nest, before the reinvention—are worth every bit of effort. They're the ones who remind you where you came from while cheering you on as you figure out where you're going.
Distance is just geography. Friendship is choice. And choosing to stay connected, even when it takes work, is one of the most beautiful investments you can make.
What are your favorite ways to stay close with faraway friends? I'd love to hear what works for you!